


Irrationally, love me, love me—

by iwillwalk500miles



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Asexual Character, Asexuality, F/F, Felix is a good friend, Injury, Love, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Sad, Sarcasm, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, i mean it reads like that but you can imagine it as pre-slash i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-02-01 07:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21428677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwillwalk500miles/pseuds/iwillwalk500miles
Summary: So Luna Blue has always been reckless, so it only makes sense her heart is too.orLuna is irrationally in love with Parvati Holcomb, but she likes to think she handles it rather well.
Relationships: Parvati Holcomb/Junlei Tennyson, The Captain/Parvati Holcomb
Comments: 19
Kudos: 82





	Irrationally, love me, love me—

**Author's Note:**

> i was in the mood for sad pining, and well... i got this new video game for my birthday on the 12th and instantly fell in love with parvati... 'nough said

Okay, so maybe Luna Blue had a… _ bit _ of a problem with recklessness, and maybe Luna Blue had made a _ tiny _ mistake involving a hidden gas barrel and a couple stray energy blasts—but come _ on _ ! What the crew (ADA mostly) was suggesting was just _ ridiculous _ ! Three days healing? Honestly, come on! Who had that type of patience with all these corporations and weird biological phenomena (and the fact that she could slow her perception of time now) and the _ small _ problem that hung around in the cargo hold, on top of three days bed rest. _Psh_!

She had been a doctor okay? She knows that she would have been fine with a bit of that breath-tube-thingy and maybe a beer. (Except… she kind of_ wasn't _ a doctor, all she was allowed to do was give shots and give random shit diagnoses that the so called _ ‘real’ _ doctors were too lazy to do.)

“This is _ bull_, I have rights!” She grumbled, glaring at the computer in front of her. Luna had been caught sneaking around by Ellie (who found her situation all too funny, and happily participated in ADA's stupid requests) and sent into the small piloting area. “C’mon, ADA! I’ve been caught up in worse—remember that time I was, oh you know, unfrozen by a batshit crazy scientist and immediately ejected onto a planet I didn’t even know the name of?”

“Yes.” The A.I said flatly, picture flickering to a version of her with furrowed eyebrows. “You also crushed the first Alex Hawthorne.” 

Luna shut her mouth, pouting and turning away. She didn’t know whether or not ADA actually _ cared _ about the man she’d accidentally killed (considering she was a computer program and all) but it sure sounded like she was sore about the entire thing. She huffed a sigh, leaning back into her chair and glaring out of the window. When Parvati and Felix had managed to dig her body out of the wreckage, the crew had unanimously decided that heading to the Groundbreaker for a bit of medical supplies would be ideal. 

She’d protested of course, still half lucid and covered in bruises, but Ellie had shut her up real quick with a glare so fierce Luna was half convinced she’d received burns. 

“This is _so_ stupid.” Luna sneered, crossing her arms tightly around herself and trying not to pout.

“Please, Captain.” ADA began, picture flickering to that of robotic sadness. “I do not wish to have Miss Holcomb come in and tell you to rest.” 

Luna went silent, turning to face away from the monitor. Sometimes, she really hated how ruthless ADA was when it came to pressing her buttons. “Shush.” She mumbled, anger seeping out of her tone, replaced by a deep sadness. “Why are you so cruel to me? Your captain?” Her voice was a tad whiny, she tilted her head and batted her eyelashes, channeling her best kicked puppy look. “I thought you _loved_ me, ADA!” 

“I am incapable of love, I mostly tolerate you.”

“I thought you _tolerated_ me, ADA!” Luna shot back, leaning back into her seat dramatically. “Woe is me, how will I survive without the beautiful commentary of my one and only true friend?” It was kind of true, considering the A.I. was the only one who knew of her… _ employment _ (did it count as an employment?) to Phineas Wells. 

“I have been programmed to point out depressing commentary.” ADA responded. “Would you like me to repeat the sentence that has been flagged?”

A soft sound of laughter interrupted them. 

Luna turned a little, swiveling in her Captain's chair and meeting the kind eyes of one Parvati Holcomb. Warmth immediately filled her at the sight of the other woman. She didn’t feel the heat like she used to, whether it be boiling or freezing, Luna couldn’t determine temperatures—but just the sight of her, grease stains and all, was enough to light a match in her chest and nerves. 

She never let Parvati know that, though.

“How much of that did you hear?” Luna asked, leaning onto the palm of her hand, grinning mischievously at her friend.

“Enough to know that Miss ADA was right in calling me over here to get you back in bed.” She leaned in the doorway, “Took a big hit earlier, Captain, and she’s just looking out for you, ya know? Dad always told me rest was important, though he wasn’t always too keen on following his own advice.” 

Luna stared silently, chewing a lip thoughtfully. “Right then.” She adjusted herself in the chair. “Doesn’t mean I can’t help you prepare for that date of yours.” 

“Aw captain.” Parvati laughed, cheeks reddening. “C’mon! I can’t ask you for help now, you’re supposed to be _ resting_.” She placed her hands on her hips, looking chastising, “All that time you already spent sittin’ around won’t mean nothin’ if you follow me around looking for new clothes.” 

Luna closed her eyes, allowing herself a shuddering sigh. Why did she do this to herself? Hadn’t she suffered _ enough_? Apparently not, she realized when she opened her mouth to persist. “No way Parvati! Not everyday you’ve got a big date like this—and you hardly ever ask me for anything, think of it as a thank you for—” She did her best not to choke on the words, “—being a good friend to me all this time.” 

Parvati looked uncertain, but Luna was good at talking, and soon the other woman sighed, shoulders slumping. “If you’re gonna come with me… well, I guess I wouldn’t be opposed.” 

Her smile was easy and light, though her heart felt heavy—heavier than the burden of the Lost Hope and all of her frozen friends. “Alright!” She pumped a fist, ignoring the press of her sleeves against her tender bruises. Luna leaped from her seat, grinning broadly. “Let me just go get dressed and we’ll head out!”

Parvati sighed, rolling her eyes and smiling. “Whatever you say, Captain.” She turned and walked back into the cargo hold, and Luna felt her smile leave with her. 

“You shouldn’t have picked up so many strays.” ADA says from behind her. “You were bound to run into one you grew too fond of, it was only a matter of time… any my running the numbers.” 

Luna sighed, glancing down at her gloved hands. She knew Parvati wouldn’t feel the same, she knew that—but she couldn’t help but feel defeated—in the end, it wouldn’t be some asshole or a stray bullet that killed her, but the love she held for someone who would never return it. It felt too good to be true when she met her, a person so bubbly and respectful, chivalrous and adorable—and so awkward was Parvati about everything, always just so nervous! 

Then, she told her that people considered her cold—and Luna had never related more! Sure she liked a bit of hugging or hand holding, but she could never give what others wanted, what they claimed they deserved. So the situation had been almost perfect—but that didn’t matter anymore, the fact that a relationship between them wouldn’t have the problems that involved… _ physical _ touch meant nothing, if Parvati couldn’t return her feelings. 

“Captain.” Felix greeted when she made her way up the stairs, preparing to get dressed to roam around the Groundbreaker. “I have something I need to tell you.” The seriousness in his voice made her do a double take.

“Something wrong?” Luna asked, allowing her concern to show plainly on her face. She hadn’t heard Felix talk about anything that way that wasn’t about that sport of his. 

“No!” He protested, before running a hand through his hair and sighing. “Not—not really…” The young man seemed frustrated, taking a deep breath before he forced himself to meet her eyes. “The thing is… I don’t think you should be helping out Parvati fall in love with another woman when it’s so clear that you’re sweet on her.” When Luna opened her mouth to protest, Felix hastily continued. “I know, I know! It’s none of my business, but I just… well I just think you ought to tell her, you know? Maybe she likes you, and maybe she doesn’t, but isn’t that better than helping her pine for someone else?”

“You’re right.” Luna says. “It is none of your business.” 

Felix deflated, before puffing right back up. “Well, see Cap—the thing about that is… well I care about Parvati, and I care about you too. So maybe it isn’t any of my business telling you to go out and spill your guts to her—but it is my business to beg you not to hurt yourself, because it won’t be only your heart that gets broken.” 

“Felix.” Luna whispered softly. “I’d do anything for her, I just want her to be happy.” The worst part about her words, so often filled with half-truths and white lies, was that what she was saying was wholeheartedly correct. 

“I know, Cap.” Felix said, placing a hand on her shoulder. The motion was awkward, but she appreciated the sentiment. “Listen, how about while Vati heads out with Miss Tennyson, we go out and get a drink—maybe bring Ellie or Nyoka, those two always seem to cheer you up a bit.” 

Luna sighed, “We’ll see.” For now, all she wanted to do was return downstairs and get happily helping Parvati over with. 

“Ready to head out, Captain Blue?” The mechanic asked, grinning broadly and wiping a bit of dirt off her chin.

“Call me Luna.” She shot back easily, not looking up to meet Parvati’s eyes for a moment. After a deep breath, she glanced back up, showing her best smile. “Let’s get you all prettied up, yeah?”

When Parvati smiled, so full of joy—Luna feared her heart may never recover from the thrashing it was about to receive.

Later, sitting alone in the Captain's chair, Luna sat stiffly—trying to erase Parvati and Junlei’s happy conversations out of her head. 

“I told you in the beginning, Captain.” ADA began. “You shouldn’t pick up so many strays.”

In that moment, Luna couldn’t help but think the A.I. was right.

**Author's Note:**

> thinking of making this a full fleshed out fic, but with you know, hanahaki disease or something, comment and tell me if you're interested


End file.
